Me :::A confused character

what are the words I wanna listen
                    what are the dreams I wanna see
what are the rules I wanna follow
                   which are the moments I wanna feel

I dont know why, my world seems so strange.......
                   where is my lonely sky and what is its range.........

how much I wanna be with me, and how much with the unknown crowd......
                  whether I wanna be soft & calm or whether I wanna scream loud.........

how deep I am in my soul & how deep in other hearts........
                 I dont know how misfortune end & even dont know how it starts.......

in order to get out of all confusion,why I started changing my perception......
                 how to give my life a new turn,to give it proper direction do shall I learn......

what I need to be happy & what can make me sad......
                 I really dont know what is good for me & even what is bad.......

The cycle is on & life is moving each day discovering my own desire.......
                  usually I think ,what is it for which I truly aspire........

my wishlist is so unrealistic & also it is changing frequently.......
                 Even I wont be satisfied by all that becoming true actually.......

Nothing can please me ,no breeze no rain.......
                 How should I get away from that kind of hidden pain..........